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IT IS YOUR BUSINESS: HELP STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
Below is some information that will help you to help stop the violence in parts of your daily life.
Helpful Hints On How You Can Help
How Can I Help?
For a friend you are concerned about.
Domestic Violence hurts everyone. There is no excuse for abuse.
Domestic violence involves everyone, not just the person who is actually being abused. As a friend, roommate, co-worker, or fellow student, you probably know someone who is being abused by an intimate partner, whether or not that person has ever talked to you about the violence. It could be you that is experiencing domestic violence. These are suggestions that you can do NOW to help your friend better the situation and make the choice that is best for the friend and the children.
Domestic violence can take many forms, including verbal and emotional abuse, threats, physical battering, sexual assault, financial control, property destruction, isolation, and stalking. It does not discriminate. Relationship abuse happens to people of every age, race, class, culture, religion, sexual orientation, educational background, and socioeconomic status.
What can you do for a friend that you are concerned about?
Your friend may not directly tell you that her partner is abusive, but there are some signs to watch for. Use your intuition, also. If you have that “feeling” that something is wrong, you are probably right. Here are some “red flags” to watch for:
Does your friend have repeated bruises, broken bones, or other injuries that reportedly result from “accidents”? Does your friend appear anxious, depressed, withdrawn, or reluctant to talk?
Does your friend have a partner who criticizes her or him in front of you, making remarks that make you feel uncomfortable when you’re around the two of them?
Does your friend make excuses for the abusive partner’s behavior?
Does your friend refuse invitations because the abusive partner doesn’t approve?
Does your friend often wear inappropriate clothing for the weather conditions? This may mean wearing long sleeves or turtle necks in the summer to cover up bruises.
When someone you care about is trapped in the cycle of violence:
Listen--really listen. Often a woman will down-play the problems with her partner. She may say “He has a really bad temper” instead of “He beat me up last night.”
Believe her. Even when women talk about what is really happening, many times they are not believed because the abuser is so well thought of in the family and the community.
Support her. You can help with a safe place to stay, money, or child care.
Be patient. Leaving an abuser can be dangerous. She must do it in her own time. Don’t give up!! Please understand that in most cases the violence does increase when the woman tells her partner that she is leaving. 79% of spousal abuse is committed by men after the woman leaves.
Tell her again and again: “You can get help. You don’t deserve this. It’s not your fault. I’m here for you.”
Talk to her about creating a safety plan for her and her children for when she decides to leave. Please see the information below on creating safety plans.
Tell her about this web site. She can get confidential information on a variety of subjects here, www.dvconline.net.
Give her this phone number. Manitowoc County Domestic Violence Center
920-684-5770 — a crisis line where a trained domestic violence counselor can be reached 24 hours a day.
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Safety Plans:
One thing that you can do right now with your friends and the children is help create a safety plan. We understand that it is very difficult to leave a violent partner. A safety plan will help your friend organize what she and her children will need for their escape. Even if she thinks the abuse won’t happen again, it’s very important to plan ahead about where she will go and how to get there.
Call the DVC at 684-5770 if you need details or help regarding a safety plan.
Let your friend know that you can be trusted.
Help your friend pack a bag with: clothes for your friend and the children, important papers (birth and shot records, photos, ID card, etc.), and extra set of keys to the car and house and a roll of quarters.
Let your friend store it at your house. Or find a place in your friend’s home to store the bag where the abusive partner will not find it.
Help your friend to set up checking and saving accounts in her name only.
Don’t tell anyone else, especially the abusive partner, about the plan that you have created with your friend.
IT IS YOUR BUSINESS...IN THE COMMUNITY
Speak out against domestic violence.
If you see or hear a domestic violence situation, call for help. You can call your local domestic violence hotline, women's shelter, crisis intervention hotline, or the local police.
Organize your community to speak out against domestic violence.
Write your legislators. Make them accountable for their position on domestic violence. Write letters of support to music and movie companies speaking out against domestic violence. Write to movie and music companies who portray women inaccurately. Let them know this is unacceptable and that you will not purchase their products.
Get involved! Show your support.
Volunteer. Make donations. Organize food and/or clothing drives for the local women's shelter. Generate community support through those drives. Find out from the local domestic violence program and/or hotline how you and others can help. Wear a ribbon. Get a bumper sticker.
Educate.
Approach your local businesses to join in a community education campaign displaying posters, flyers, and other educational information.
Be a friend.
Help a friend in an abusive situation by being a good listener. Tell her it is not her fault. Help her find resources and support available in your community.
Be nonjudgmental.
Domestic violence does not discriminate against gender, race, socio‑economic status, marital status, or age. Know that violence is not an acceptable way to deal with anger or conflict. She did not _ask for it. She does not deserve it.
Be an example.
Make a commitment to the cause. Let others know about your commitment. Use nonviolent conflict resolution strategies in your relationship with your partner and when disciplining your children.
Know the facts and then share them with others.
Set up domestic violence workshops in your workplace, community group, or church. Get your schools to address the issue with their students.
Know who to call for help.
Have the numbers of the local domestic violence program, women's shelter, and local police on hand.
Initiate conversations about domestic violence.
IT IS YOUR BUSINESS...IN THE RELIGIOUS COMMUNITY
Speak out against domestic violence.
If you see or hear a domestic violence situation, call for help. You can call your local domestic violence hotline, women's shelter, crisis intervention hotline, or the local police.
Organize your community to speak out against domestic violence.
Write your legislators. Make them accountable for their position on domestic violence. Write letters of support to music and movie companies speaking out against domestic violence. Write to movie and music companies who portray women inaccurately. Let them know this is unacceptable and that you will not purchase their products.
Get involved! Show your support.
Volunteer. Make donations. Organize food and/or clothing drives for the local women's shelter. Generate community support through those drives. Find out from the local domestic violence program and/or hotline how you and others can help. Wear a ribbon. Get a bumper sticker.
Educate.
Approach your local businesses to join in a community education campaign displaying posters, flyers, and other educational information.
Be a friend.
Help a friend in an abusive situation by being a good listener. Tell her it is not her fault. Help her find resources and support available in your community.
Be nonjudgmental.
Domestic violence does not discriminate against gender, race, socio‑economic status, marital status, or age. Know that violence is not an acceptable way to deal with anger or conflict. She did not _ask for it. She does not deserve it.
Be an example.
Make a commitment to the cause. Let others know about your commitment. Use nonviolent conflict resolution strategies in your relationship with your partner and when disciplining your children.
Know the facts and then share them with others.
Set up domestic violence workshops in your workplace, community group, or church. Get your schools to address the issue with their students.
Know who to call for help.
Have the numbers of the local domestic violence program, women's shelter, and local police on hand.
Initiate conversations about domestic violence.
IT IS YOUR BUSINESS...IN THE WORKPLACE
Make it clear that domestic violence is an issue that your company will not tolerate. Display informational posters that speak out against domestic violence. Provide presentations/workshops that address the issue and make these presentations available to all shifts.
Educate workers/train management about domestic violence.
What are the signs? Teach them how to recognize unexplained physical injuries, isolation, emotional distress, depression, distraction, unusual reactions to phone calls, and absenteeism. Are there patterns? Who can they talk to at work? Where can they go for help? Utilize the expertise available through your state and local domestic violence agencies to train your workers. Contact your local domestic violence program to learn how to make your workplace safe and secure.
Promote diversity and acceptance.
Don't judge or blame victims of domestic violence; the action certainly does not discriminate. Respect the privacy and private lives of the victims. They will disclose when they are ready and/or able.
Develop a relationship among those with whom you work.
Become a community sponsor of a domestic violence program and get your fellow workers involved.
Establish a protocol for dealing with workers who are victims or perpetrators of domestic violence.
Some statistics about Domestic Violence
Did you know that...
- Eighty-two percent of Americans say that they would do something to help reduce domestic violence if they knew what to do.
- One out of every four American women (26 percent) report that they have been physically abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. Thirty percent of Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused by her husband or boyfriend in the past year.
- Among all female murder victims in 1995, 26 percent were known to have been slain by husbands or boyfriends. Only three percent of the male victims were known to have been slain by wives or girlfriends.
- In a national survey of more than 2,000 American families, approximately 50 percent of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children.
- Children (from violent homes) are more likely to be involved in violent criminal activity in the future than their non-abused peers.
- Partners and ex-partners commit 15% of all workplace homicides against women and 5% of non-fatal assaults. Three-quarters of battered women who work report having been harassed by phone or in person by their abuser. Half of the women lost jobs and a majority lost time from work directly because of domestic violence.
- Eight percent of teenage girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend
THE COSTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE REACH EVERY PERSON’S POCKET?
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A study at Rush Medical Center in Chicago estimated an average charge for medical services to abused women, children, and older people as $1633 per person per year, excluding psychological or follow-up costs.
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Three percent of battered women require medical care in a hospital of one day or more at a cost of $745.37 a day. Two percent of abused women require medical in a hospital overnight at a cost of $5,345.63 per stay.
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An estimated 50% of the 256,000 children in foster care are victims of abuse. Those of us who pay taxes spend $2.5 billion in Federal foster care expenditures under Title IV-E
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Twenty-four percent of abused working women reported losing a job and 50% reported being unable to attend school. This adds to unemployment costs, as well as loss in productivity and potential profit.
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Seventy-five percent of victims are harassed at work by their abuser. This creates an unsafe and potentially explosive environment for all who work there.
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Eight percent of victims of violent crime experience an average of 7.6 days of lost work per year. Ninety-four percent of abused women lost at least one work day per year. This puts more work on others to do or subtracts from potential profits.
Caution:Internet Safety
SAFETY ALERT: If you are in danger, please use a safer computer, or call 911, your local hotline, or the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) and TTY 1-800-787-3224. See more technology safety tips here. There is always a computer trail, but you can leave this site quickly if you click ESC.
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Contact Information:
Manitowoc County Domestic Violence Center
1127 S. 22nd. St, Manitowoc, WI 54220
Crisis Line: 920-684-5770 or 1-877-275-6888
Business: 920-684-4661 Fax: 920-684-6344