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Battering usually follows a distinct pattern or cycle, known as the Cycle of Violence. There are three phases to this cycle: Tension Building, Violence or Eruption, and then the Honeymoon Period. In time, the cycle of violence usually speeds up, increasing in both frequency and intensity. The honeymoon phase may shorten, while the violent phase is prolonged. Outside factors may add increased pressure to this dangerous cycle. Such factors can include pressure or expectations from family, friends, society, your culture, and even religious leaders. There are also the pressures of finances and children.
Tension Building Stage
The BATTERER may...
- Fear abandonment and use abuse to control the partner
- Blame the partner for problems
- Is often jealous and/or possessive
The VICTIM may...
- Think she deserves it
- Minimize her pain
- Repress her anger
- Feel like she is “walking on eggshells”
- Take responsibility for “fixing” the situation/relationship
Violence or Eruption Stage
The BATTERER may...
- Show extreme rage
- Desire to “teach him/her a lesson”
- Blackmail victim (If you tell, I will take the kids)
The VICTIM may...
- Feel terrified
- Allow herself to express own anger by fighting back
- Feel depressed, helpless, hopeless
Honeymoon Stage
The BATTERER may...
- Feel guilty and sad
- Cry and beg forgiveness
- Make promises to change behavior
- Be loving and kind
- Bring presents/flowers
The VICTIM may...
- Feel happy and hopeful
- Feel sympathetic toward partner
- Believe what partner is saying is true
On-Line Newsletter Index
- Domestic Violence in the Workplace
- Battering Myths and Realities
- Why Women Stay...
- Power Wheel
- Equality Wheel
- Domestic Violence Statistics
- The Truth about Domestic Violence
- DVC's Wish List
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ESC
Contact Information:
Manitowoc County Domestic Violence Center
1127 S. 22nd. St, Manitowoc, WI 54220
Crisis Line: 920-684-5770 or 1-877-275-6888
Business: 920-684-4661 Fax: 920-684-6344